By: Jaime Gabrielle
Artwork by Samantha Denise Torres
Lesson One: When Good Things Fall Apart
Seize the moment as it happens. Use several senses to ensure yourself that this is real and you’re experiencing it because that’s what I’m doing… Hey, I’m Gabriel Parker and this is lesson one based on the experiences I had gone through in this life of mine.
I use my eyes to see the outside, but my mistake was not clearly seeing the picture; how the smile turned into a frown, how a simple touch became a burn, and how closeness became the state of being miles apart. This is when I learned to be observant.
I use my hands to feel, every hug given was like a warm summer feel that drives away the loneliness which feels like winter. It felt so good, but it didn’t last as hugs turned into pats, pats into nods, and nods into ignorance. This is when I learned to read the signs.
I use my ears to listen, to hear, and to compare laughter and music as it plays a merry tune which makes me want to dance, to be inspired, and to be persistent. I lost the ability to hear that music. This is when I learned to listen for the change of tune.
There are other senses, but I’d like to focus on these three which I lacked. Hopefully, you won’t miss out on these things because I’d like to tell you that it’s going to hurt so bad. No amount of tears wasted on crying is going to fix it. No amount of begging or bargaining is going to convince fate to turn back time.
You can get angry and sad. I wouldn’t blame you if you get depressed because it happened to me. I bet it’s happening to you, too or to some unfortunate fellow who also didn’t see these signs — signals of when you’re about to lose someone so important that the pain consumes you from head to toe; that chilling numbness which is eventually followed by burning anger. A bitter hollowness is experienced before the acceptance stage.
It’s not easy to move on from a devastating loss.
Let’s admit to ourselves that we’ve all gone through such time when we imagined the what ifs, the possible outcome for change; being different, and clinging to the past. Sadly, it doesn’t work that way. Losing is the way of life. To lose something is to gain another, for better or for worse.
It took me some time to accept that.
Acceptance of one’s loss is the hardest thing to do, just like laying down one’s pride. We aren’t always right. We can’t always stand to be belittled. That’s my mistake.
I let my pride talk and allow the good things to fall apart.
This is Gabriel Parker… signing off with these last few words. Pride isn’t worth it when you’ve lost so much more than what you’ve gained. Friends and family matter more than some silly argument. Being warm is better than bundling up to fight against the cold.
